Why Good Men Make Shit Kings
by adstyle17
Summary: Tyrion Lannister's guide and biography on how to make a successful king. First hand experience and detailed reenactments inside.


**An: Hi to all my readers, many of you may follow my stories and find themselves interested in this complete new change of fandom for me, others just like Game Of Thrones and may have never read my stories before, it doesn't matter you're all welcome.**

I'm **relatively new to Game Of Thrones but, being the TV binger I am, I quickly got up-to-date with it. I eagerly await another season, which I highly suspect may be the last judging by how series 7 finished, but in the meantime I decided to swap my usual HP stories for the story world known as Westeros.**

The **concept and structure of this story is quite unique; the only time I( me, the true author of this story) shall be writing is like this in the Author's Notes (the true author's notes). Everything else will be written by Tyrion Lannister, and this is a book he's written in the Westeros world that is available in the Citadel ten years after the events of GoT. It's a instructional guide and biography on how to be a successful King of the Seven Kingdoms, with "reenactments" of personal or reported events involving could-have-been and former King's of Westerlos. He may even have Author's Notes too, you'll know the difference because his won't be bold.**

I **think I've said enough, any questions please write in a review and I'll answer them.**

 **Lets begin**

Why Good Men Make Shit Kings

by

Tyrion Lannister

All the information one man needs

to be a successful king.

••••••

There is only one goal a selfish man desires; more than wine, and whores, and gold. My family have had all and as much as a man can desire from it, but it took all of the Berathean line to die before my sister Cersei could sit on the throne of all thrones. Three children all destined to sit in Robert Berathean's old chair; one poisoned at his wedding, one poisoned before she could get sight of the throne, and one suicide. My brother Jaime killed the Mad King, and yet it still kept the Lannisters away from the crown.

My father Tywin taught his children, yes even his imp son, that nothing earns you the throne. You cannot train yourself to do it, no matter how talented you are. You cannot learn it no matter how many books you read, or how politically sound you are. Nothing wins the throne better than power. Power to do things others won't, power to see beyond good or evil. Power to not get complacent, impatient and stupid. He wasn't alive to see my sister achieve exactly what he taught us, courtesy of me.

So you'd think only selfish men can be kings. Cruel men. Evil son-of-a-bitches with tyrannical philosophies. And you'd be damn right, especially looking at the history books:

The Mad King himself that wanted to burn his people into submission.

Robert Berathean who pissed on the title and pissed his expenses up the wall.

Joffrey Berathean who was cruel for the sake of being cruel.

Cersei Lannister who is, and always will be, the meanest and most manipulative bitch I know.

Why is it that the Starks have only ever gotten to the heights of King's hand? Once. To a lazy king. Only to be beheaded soon after his king was gutted by a boar.

Hell, even I, who personally thinks he did a splendid job as King's hand. I won't go too much now into that as this is only the prologue; bad-talking my dear family can come later.

It does seem that only selfish men can be kings. But it doesn't make them good kings. Power may be the way to the throne, but it's also an addiction. Seeking the throne requires men to defeat their contenders, by any means necessary, that's the way of the game. There's only one winner in the game of thrones. But once a man wins, what then? When you've defeated your enemies, what then?

The king is always under threat, armies will march and traitors shall slither amongst the council. King's deal with that, it's more than an expectation. The key is in keeping your people on your side, the wrong fear is the worst way to do that. Fear may keep them docile and voiceless, but they only want your destruction. So when a threat comes the cornered dog will fight it's way out of it.

A good king must keep the peace, with respect and freedom. People respond to verbal warnings like children to a scholar, those who disobey expect to be punished accordingly. When a thief thieves, his hands get cut off; deserving yet merciful. When a murderer kills he expects to receive the same punishment as what he dished onto others.

It's when beggar boys pick-pocket and receive torture in return, that's the wrong kind of fear. When a man refuses to pay his whore and gets his tongue chopped, that's the wrong kind of fear. Fear through respect is what a king needs, not respect through fear.

That all suggests that even though selfish men get the throne, the good men make better kings. But they don't; good men will always experience betrayal, war and outcry as a king. Good men make shit kings. Good kings are made differently, and I'm going to show you why.

In this book I'll show you five examples why good men fail the throne, and indulge you with personal stories or detailed reports that I've come to experience in my unfortunate life. So much death, and even more wine. I hope I won't get too drunk while writing this, but I can't promise you.


End file.
